somewhere along one's life, you've gotta think about this question, "what is the meaning of life?" and after that question is somewhat answered by your own brain, you think to yourself again "then why live for so long?"
i, obviously have thought about this question and often times thinking about it leads to morbid suicidal thoughts. life - birth, growth, death. you learn tons along the way but is there ever a limit? like those who are unfortunately born with mental illness, where they can learn only so much. what is the meaning of life for them? those who had promising careers in sports or music and all of a sudden their careers are shattered/shortened by accidents like DUIs, or health issues, etc. for me, life would be shit after that.
when the movie "Million Dollar Baby" came out, i spent days wondering if i should go see it since i already knew it ain't got a happy ending to it. furthermore, when a friend told me the entire plot of the story, i basically said "fack it, i'm already depressed, i don't need to see it." however, i agreed only on one thing with the character, at least a small part of it... is the feeling of wanting to die after realizing you're ruined for life. the once independent and awesome character within you has been torn out of you by a single punch, which led to a fall, and she was paralyzed for life. i do not want to be like that at all.
do i have expectations in life? yes, i do... but so far majority of them failed to achieve my level of satisfaction... and believe me, i have very low standards. do i ever feel happy? yes, i do. however, i'm rarely happy with myself.... i consider myself as a hopeless case or a total failure and people around me are just very patient with me. well... that's it for now... peace out...
p.s i'm very very random... rarely will you see a solid conclusion with my posts... so please bear with me~ thank you very much~
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